How To Never Be Shy Again (For Introverts)

Reading time: 6 minutes

Three years ago I was triggered.

Walking back to my car I was shocked at my reaction in class.

It was in one of those big auditorium classes with 300+ people. The professor was giving a brief description of the difference between extroverts and introverts.

“Extroverts are louder, more social and introverts are shy”.

A noise escaped my throat, which sounded like a combination of a “no!” and a gulp. Looking at the student next to me writing notes: “introvert = shy”.

I was furious. Triggered completely.

Being a very proud introvert this did not go over smoothly.

The Current Narrative

I coach a lot of high-performing introverted men and to this day I’m shocked at the picture of success they have accepted to be true.

Most introverts unconsciously have this idea of what it takes to become ‘successful’.

Success? Well, you must be the life of the party. Loud. Talking to everyone.

So, wanting to be this ideal version of ‘success’, the introvert tries to model this behavior.

The truth of the matter: no matter how great I am at writing with my left hand, I’m still a righty at heart.

Some introverts are shy, some extroverts are shy. Men are shy. Women are shy.

If you consider yourself to be shy, this article will eradicate it for the rest of your life.

7. Become an expert communicator

If you were an expert in swimming and you saw a pool, there would be no fear about diving in. Same with social skills.

You must work consistently on having the best social skills in this entire universe. The more confidence you have in your ability to talk to people the less shy you will feel.

8. New beliefs

Mindset is everything.

If you think you are likeable then people will like you.

If you see people as being friendly and welcoming, that will be your reality.

The way to install this into your brain is simple.

Every time you talk to someone new and it goes well, take 30 seconds to re-affirm the belief (just like I did with the free hugs sign).

Beliefs need proof. Every time someone was nice to you is just further proof for your case. People ARE awesome. People ARE friendly, mind, didn’t you see what just happened? People are so friendly.

9. You are value and you are growing in value

You are value now because you are a human being.

That by itself is enough. You are enough. There is nothing you have to do in order to be more enough.

You are 10000000% enough in this exact moment.

You understand this and consistently build your own value at the same time. You workout, develop social skills, and focus on contributing and making an impact.

10. Focus outward

Shy people constantly focus all their attention on themselves. It’s very selfish and it propels you further and further down the hole of self-consciousness.

Keep all your attention on the person in front of you. Focus intently on their facial expressions and features. Focus on the appreciation you have for this person in front of you.

You choose what you focus on. Choose to focus on something outside of yourself and you will quickly fizzle all shyness from your system.

11. Mental movies and rehearsals

Take time to visualize you interacting with other people. How your ideal self would communicate with others. Visualize people enjoying your company, liking you as a person and being friendly.

This is your mental movie, keep this image fresh in your mind everyday.

The next step is to practice (rehearse) the events. Find a quiet place in your room or with friends and act like that person you visualized.

It might sound weird but talk to the mirror as if you were your ideal self. That charismatic, confident person that’s already inside of you.

12. Join The Bold Wolves Project

This program is the indoctrination to our community for introverted men.

Wolves is our introvert archetype.

Boldness is how we choose to live our life.

It’s crucial to find an empowering community of people that are creators at the highest level. It’s a lot harder to be shy when you are around fully self-expressive people.

Thank you for reading.

Daniel


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Daniel

Daniel Karan is an expert at helping clients develop the courage required to live extraordinary lives. He is the founder of the Bold Wolves Project for High-Performing Introverts. His main disciplines have been a cocktail of personality, social and behavioral psychology. His big picture is to inspire 100,000 humans to sing their song…loudly.